Puppy blues in pet parents is a very common phenomenon. By and large, when people plan on getting a puppy, they expect cuteness, a cuddle buddy, a stress buster and an animal who will love them unconditionally, come what may. While all of these things are absolutely true about a dog, a puppy does come with a fair share of shenanigans. Almost every pet parent grapples with these puppy blues which sometimes translate into feelings of regret getting a puppy.
Puppies are hard work. You’re not alone
I can totally imagine your current situation as you’re reading this article; probably at your wit’s end while you’re puppy is putting an end to another expensive shoe with his razor-sharp canines. Here you are wondering, “Where in the world am I going wrong? What does this puppy want??!” and there’s your pup whining and crying in his crate begging to get out to wreck a little more havoc! I’m here to tell you – YOU’RE NOT ALONE.
Puppies are hard work. Well, can you blame them? They’re new to everything and everything is new to them. They explore the world through their nose and mouth. They want to test the texture of everything around them and bite into everything to relieve their sore gums caused by teething.
Unfortunately, most times, this teething frustration comes out on undesirable things like furniture, mattresses, shoes, walls, wires and most of all, the human skin. Dealing with the teething phase is the most frustrating part of puppyhood because no matter what you do or how many hacks you try, it doesn’t go away. And potty training… well, let’s not even get there!!
Every puppy parent, Yes, EVERY… 100% of them have to put in a little bit of an extra effort while trying to sail through puppyhood. Puppyhood means dealing with teething, potty training, socializing, routine setting, boundary setting, sleepless nights, whining, howling, crying, crate training and so much more, some of which may be unique to every puppy parent. Again, you’re not alone, you’re a part of a HUGE community that is dealing with the exact same thing day in and day out.
Coping with Puppy Blues
Puppy blues is the feeling of anxiety, overwhelm, depression and possibly regret after getting a puppy. It typically hits after a couple of months of getting a puppy and stays for a while. There are several reasons why a puppy parent will feel puppy blues and regret getting a puppy. Let me cite a few –
- Sleepless nights due to the newly established erratic routine
- Potty training frustration
- Frustration from dealing with puppy teething and biting
- Wrong breed selection
- Not being able to keep up with the puppy’s energy
- Inability to communicate with and understand the puppy
- Puppy behavioral issues, etc
FURTHER READS: First 48 hours with a new puppy
Now, you have 2 options when the blues hit you –
Option 1 – Keep brooding and get consumed by it
Option 2 – Buckle up and try harder
If you choose option 2, I can help you get started on your path to sanity with these tips-
- Your puppy is a part of your life, NOT your Entire life. Have a life of your own, separate from your dog. Make time for things you love, things that don’t involve the dog. It’s not selfish, it’s survival.
- Figure out what time of the day your dog is at the peak of his energy. For most puppies, it is in the evening. You have to be there for your puppy during this time – no questions asked. Play with him, exercise him, go for a walk, find decent outlets for that excessive energy
- From a very young age, teach your puppy to spend time alone and self-stimulate for a few hours of the day. Feeders and interactive toys are your best friends here.
- Don’t coddle your puppy at every whine
FURTHER READS: How to use a Kong toy like a pro and avoid most puppy behavioral issues?
Does it get easier?
YES. The unruly puppy phase will last as long as your puppy will take to get properly acclimatized to his new home, family, surroundings and most importantly, routine. Once you inculcate a little bit of structure in your puppy’s life, the disruption comes under control, leaving behind the customary puppy issues to be dealt with like biting, over-excitement etc.
As your dog gets older and familiarised with your way of life, they start maturing and calming down, provided they get ample physical and mental stimulation. Issues like teething, potty accidents are typically at their peak during puppyhood when the pup has no idea about appropriate teething outlets and where to relieve himself.
FURTHER READS: A complete guide on crate training a puppy in 14 days
If I were to give you a realistic picture, puppyhood is the hardest to deal with, followed by the teenage phase, where your dog will try and test your training and leadership abilities and thereby your patience. The teenage dog phase usually starts at about 7 months of age and lasts till they’re about 1.5 years old.
By the time your dog hits 2 years of age, probably living the life of an Instagram celebrity, living with a dog typically becomes a matter of seamless co-existence. This is when you will thank yourself for putting in the extra work for the 1st 12 months because trust me, it WILL be worth it.
Tips to make the puppy phase a little easier
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Ask for help
I’m specifically talking to the first-time German Shepherd or Husky (or basically any working breed) owners. Raising a puppy can be a handful. You get to do this with a dog only once. Do it right.
Consider seeking professional help from a trainer or a behaviorist as an investment that WILL pay off once your dog is older and walking right next to you on the sidewalk, solely focused on you, thereby making all the other pet parents envious of the incredible bond you both share!
FURTHER READS: What professional trainers and Bloggers want you to know about raising a puppy.
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Don’t compare your dog with others’ dogs
Remember Hachiko, from the movie Hachi: A dog’s tale, where the Akita shares an unbelievable bond with the owner, walking off leash with him till the train station and back, listening and responding to every single cue WITHOUT a treat or even training? Amazing, right?
Now do me a favor, throw that picture out of your head, because that is creating unrealistic expectations in your head on what a dog should look and be like. Not every dog is Hachiko, but I can tell you this – EVERY dog is equally special. Every dog has their unique personality and deserves to be cherished for it.
Also, there were 3 Akita dogs used in the movie and all three were ‘in training’ for several hours – on and off-screen in order to pull that role off. So, when you compare your “bad” dog with other “great dogs” on TV, remember, a LOT of work goes into creating the image of an “ideal” dog on screen.
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Set boundaries
Boundary setting is your puppy’s preliminary introduction to general obedience training. Setting boundaries involve teaching your puppy rules of the household and basic do’s and don’ts like whether or not the puppy will be allowed on the couch and bed, which areas of the house will the puppy have access to, what behaviors will be completely off-limits (Eg – my dog is NOT allowed to jump at guests and beg at the dinner table), etc.
Reach a consensus with all the members of the household and have certain boundaries and rules everyone will adhere to. You need not have 10 different rules in the house as long as you have one rule that all 10 people will follow.
You need not have 10 different rules in the house as long as you have one rule that all 10 people will follow.
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Set a routine
Dogs are a creature of discipline. They have the ability to adhere to a routine better than anyone else because this routine helps them feel secure. When your dog has no idea what to do next, your dog will always be in a conflicted state of mind and unstable at home. Make your puppy’s life as predictable as possible and see him flourish.
FURTHER READS: 6 Effective Hacks to keep a puppy busy while at work
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Make every member of the household accountable
“We got a puppy because my kids wanted one, but now I’m doing all the work” is one of the most common complaints.
I once had a client named Samantha who was faced with a similar dilemma. Her kids (a 10-year-old and another 13 years old) really wanted a dog to play with, so they got a Labrador puppy. In a few weeks, the kids started to give up as raising a puppy is obviously hard. They would turn up only to play with the puppy and Samantha had to do all the other work (training, potty cleaning, walks, etc).
One fine day, Samantha put her foot down. She decided she would let her kids interact with the puppy only if each of them owned up a task. If not, the kids were not allowed to play or even touch the puppy. The younger kid took up the responsibility of brushing the dog everyday and the older kid agreed to walk the puppy. On the days any of them missed out on carrying out their task, they were not allowed to play with the puppy.
If you ask me, that’s 100% fair.
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Have realistic expectations
Again, taking the example of puppy biting, it’s a phase that every puppy goes through and there is no quick fix to putting an end to it. As a pet parent, you have to be prepared to put in the work to redirect, channelize and teach bite inhibition to make the phase a little more bearable. So, don’t go around looking for quick fixes and shortcuts leading to nothing but disappointment.
Stuck with the wrong breed.
Ending up with the unsuitable breed happens more often than you think! Lack of prior research and underestimating the breed’s needs are 2 main reasons people get end up getting stuck with an inapt breed.
It happens! You think you’d get a Malinois and go for 2 long walks a day with him to keep him well exercised. However, what you may not know is that Belgian Malinois are working dogs. Sometimes, even 3 walks a day may not cut it for them. They need a rigorous and structured mental and physical stimulation routine apart from an experienced owner.
FURTHER READS: All you need to know about raising and training a rescue dog
What to do when you’re stuck with the wrong breed?
Getting stuck with the wrong breed is one of the most common reasons people regret getting a puppy. You can do the following things to make sure you provide a good life to your high energy working pup –
- Research and learn more about your dog’s breed – what were they bred for? Genetics, breed traits, etc
- Understand your dog’s breed requirements and make an exercise plan. Eg – Beagles look cute and small, but they have the energy to run with a horse! They were originally bred as scent hounds to track small game, like rabbits. To fulfill a Beagle’s breed instincts, get him into nose work.
- Seek the help of a professional trainer to better understand your dog
- If you do not have the time or inclination to raise the pup, find him a good home before it’s too late. The younger your dog is, the more adoptable he is.
When should you consider surrendering?
Sometimes, in spite of good intentions, thorough research and preparedness, the dog may just not be the right fit. Sometimes, giving up a dog may actually do more good to the dog than bad. It is normal to consider surrendering your dog in the following cases –
- Unexpected lifestyle changes like relocation, death in the family, financial issues, health issues etc
- Sudden allergic reactions
- Dog shows signs of aggression or actually attacks family members or other pets
- Realizing early on that the family is incapable of raising a puppy due to lack of expertise (Although, this could have been avoided altogether with some prior research)
- A newly adopted rescue dog that comes in with major behavioral concerns like anxiety, fearfulness, resource guarding etc that were not very prominent during the adoption
- The pet parent’s physical inability to care for the dog anymore and many more reasons
For an outsider, the decision of a pet parent surrendering a dog is moot. However, every well-meaning pet parent with good intentions must be able to take the decision of what is best for the dog and not worry about what everyone has to say or think.
Surrendering a dog
No one ever gets a dog with an intention of eventually giving them up. However, often, things don’t fall into place for everyone. In such cases –
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If you’ve made up your mind, surrender before it’s too late
If you are planning on giving up your puppy and know for sure that you wouldn’t be able to care for them, make sure you do so when your puppy is young. By doing so you’re letting the next family start training on a clean slate. By waiting too long, the puppy may be constantly learning undesirable behaviors which may be difficult to reverse in the future.
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Find the right home
When rehoming a dog, it is crucial to find the right fit. Do not hand over a dog with resource guarding issues to a home with kids, or a high-energy dog to a family of seniors.
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For the love of God, DO NOT ABANDON
Like I even need to explain this. I don’t judge people who are wanting to surrender their dogs. Sometimes, it’s for the best. But there is a special place in hell for people who are cruel enough to abandon their pets without being considerate enough to make sure the pet is able to survive thereafter.
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Get in touch with a humane shelter
When surrendering a dog to a shelter, don’t just show up at their door. Book a prior appointment, explain your situation to the volunteer and make sure they have space and capability to care for the dog. Make sure the shelter you approach is a no-kill shelter.
A kill shelter is an animal shelter that accepts all animals regardless of age, health standards or behavior. … These shelters are often forced to euthanize animals after a certain period of time so that they have enough cage space available to accept all animals. DO NOT GO THERE.
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Consider sponsoring, if possible
Being a sponsor of an animal means providing vital funds and resources to help care for them until they find a new home. Sponsoring an animal can be of HUGE help to the shelter considering they house and care for so many animals day in and day out.
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Get in touch with the breeder
If you’ve purchased your dog from the breeder and realize early on that you’re unable to care for them, seek out the breeder’s help in rehoming the dog. Accepting a puppy back is part of the role of a credible breeder. The clause of returning a puppy is typically mentioned in the contract. Although, once returned the breeder may or may not sell you another pup.
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Reach out on the internet
The internet is a goldmine when it comes to finding a dog-loving community. Thousands of people adopt dogs over internet ads and references every single day. Just make sure you do your reference checks before handing over your dog.
It’s going to be okay
A puppy is a humungous responsibility. Training, socialization, physical and mental stimulation, addressing breed-specific needs are just a few of the several things a puppy parent has to deal with. Sometimes the puppy blues come and go and by the end of it, the dog and the human’s bond is stronger than ever. But sometimes, the puppy blues don’t leave at all, no matter what. You’re not a bad person and it’s normal to regret getting a puppy. However, it’s important to recognize the right time and right way to cut the cord.